Pathetic Rant

I decided that school is going to suck. I was excited before cause Ali, Anna and Savannah would be there but I realized nothing would change. I hate school. Always the same people talking about the same things.

“Did you hear about Austin and Casey?’

“I am going to flunk my Algebra exam”

“I heard Tessa is having a baby”

blah blah blah. It’s all so boring and trivial. In order to keep my sanity in all the gossip all I can do is smile and  be polite. It’s not like I get the chance to talk very often so when I do I don’t want to offend the person who had enough pity for me to lower themselves down to my level just to talk to me. I’m a coward. Hiding behind either a smile or burying my nose in a book to cover the fact that I’m lonely. My closest friends don’t even see it. I just now am realizing all this and do you want to know what made me notice. Of course it was damn anime. I was reading a Fai fanfic and I was like

“hm. I wonder why Fai smiles to hide his pain. That sure is dumb.”

Then it hit me. I do it too. and Its frustrating because it’s so dumb. I have tons of people who care about me that I could talk to, but I don’t. Maybe its cause I don’t want to burden them or something. Hell if I know.

ALSO I AM SO STUPID! I keep on crushing on guys that I can’t have. SO I end up having to keep it to myself and it hurts me. AGH IM SO DUMB. Why can’t anime guys be real? cause if they were I would find my prince charming like that! *snaps*

On another totally unrelated note I have been having really freaky dreams recently . Like me and Kate getting preggo simultaneously. weird.

Thats the end of my rant about me being pathetic.

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